Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"He pitched a script and two stars that could sully the Ganges."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"Another script edited within an inch of its life. Another day."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"Please ask your general practitioner if your heart is strong enough for sloppy story arcs and nebulous character development."

Harry Goaz Says . . .

"Everything around here has been spanked and now the yak has escaped from the zoo!"

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

Where do wild hogs come from?

Where do they get all of the magnificent story arcs for their scripts?

Who is signing passes for them to get on the lot?

What kind of cars do they drive?

How do they know my office number?

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"Every line I've read in this script has been written better somewhere else."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"In my mind I have to stop and ask myself, what would Robert Downey Jr. do?

Before he broke into that house in Malibu and passed out in that kid's bedroom of course.

K?"

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"I don't need no stinking seat belt.

I prefer to be thrown free and clear from the wreckage."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"If I see that green car parked one more time in front of my house, I will augment my case of pepper-spray with an illegally obtained firearm."

'Nuff said !?

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

To: Bill Reid -- bigbigred@aol.com
From: Jack Nicholson -- unclejack@sbcglobal.net
Sent: 2/22/2011 1:47 AM

I just got your email and wanted to make sure you made your flight to Turkey. K? Well? Huh?




To: Jim Jarmusch -- crazeejimmyjoe@roadrunner.net
cc: Barbra Streisand -- GiantFrigginStar@msn.com, Jack Nicholson -- unclejack@sbcglobal.net, Kool Marder -- toocoolforfools@aol.com, Roman Polanski -- shortnsexy@aol.com
From: Bill Reid -- bigbigred@aol.com
2/22/2011 3:12 AM

Well, I made it on time. I was picked up at the airport in a very nice Range Rover with flowers and a camera man on board. The hotel is very nice! It looks like I will be having a small entourage follow me around for the filming.




To: Bill Reid -- bigbigred@aol.com
From: Roman Polanski -- shortnsexy@aol.com
Sent: 2/22/2011 3:15 AM

What's the little chick-a-dee situation there in Istanbul? I mean, is it worth it?




To: Bill Red -- bigbigred@aol.com
From: Jack Nicholson -- unclejack@sbcglobal.net
Sent: 2/22/2011 3:18 AM

Get to the part about the oily brick of hash in the fruit basket. K? Well? Huh?

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"Sometimes being in a state of frothy derangement is the last bastion of a creative domicile left."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"It was the same as when all of the nerdy boys from the reed section of band grew up, shot steroids, and toured with the top rock bands of the late 70s and early 80s as roadies with their shirts off."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"The storyline and pitch were tighter than Jim Morrison's leather pants in a backstage dressing room."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"It will take an army of check washers to get financing for this film."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"I don't need no stinkin' ink cartridges.

This script will be implemented with my own freshly transfused blood."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"It was one of my more obtuse lunches since Joey Heatherton goosed me in the buffet line and ate off of my plate at the Hillcrest Country Club during the early 1980s."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

From: Roman Polanski -- shortnsexy@aol.com
To Jack Nicholson -- unclejack@sbcglobal.net
Sent: 5/27/2009 12:38 AM
I like climbing into bed and cruising Craigslist on my Blackberry and
playing like I am young enough to have sex with the babes who post on there
without paying for it!
What do you like to do??? And make it juicy! xxxRomanxxx
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with Nextel Direct Connect


From: Jack Nicholson -- unclejack@sbcglobal.net
To: Bill Reid -- bigbigred@aol.com
Sent: Wed, 27 May 2009 12:36 pm
I like to look at the chickadees in the gym and wonder what
would happen if their sports bras "accidentally" POPPED off. Remember in the
old movies when the lady's dress would get caught on something, then
rrrrrrrrip, and she was standing there in her slip? Why can't that
happen in the gym to people that I psychically demand suddenly be
attracted to me ???


From Bill Reid -- bigbigred@aol.com
To: Jim Jarmusch -- crazeejimmyjoe@roadrunner.com
Sent: Wed, 27 May 2009 1:47 pm
I'm on location in my hotel room doing rewrites for the next day's shoot.
Room Service is at the door with the meal I ordered.

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"

Wake me...never mind, I'm leaving.

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"That story pitch went down like the jagged edge of a Centrum Performance vitamin broken in half."

Bill Reid Hollywood Producer

"I'm sad to say, that I myself have uncovered many nebulous enormities in this script."